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WIFE

David Bissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

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Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

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Socrates

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

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Anonymous

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

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Dumas
The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?

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Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

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Anonymous

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go      Fridays.”

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Sam Kinison

“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”

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James Holt McGavran

“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.”

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Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.

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Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…

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Premnath

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

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Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

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Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.

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Anonymous

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

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Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”

Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

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TRUE REALITY OF LIFE

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A dash of laughter

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If someone asks you to work on the weekend

It’s not because things are difficult that we don’t dare, its because we don’t dare that they are difficult – SENECA

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Why Planning is important?

One Night 4 college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan.. They made themselves look as Dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they Had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their Car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were In no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as This was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.

See Below for the question Paper

Q.1. Name of the car??

………. …………. ………   (2 MARKS)

Q.2. Which tire burst?          (98 MARKS)

a) Front Left           b) Front Right          c) Back Left            d) Back Right

True story from the Indian Institue of Technology  Bombay ………………………………………….. a world class Technology university

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LEGAL AND LOGICAL

After having failed his exam in “Logistics and Organization”, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: “Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”

Professor: “Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”

Student: “Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an “A” for the exam. ”

Professor: “Okay, it’s a deal. So what is the question?”

Student: “What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?”

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an “A”, as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.
He immediately answers: “Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 25 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife’s lover an “A”, although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical.”

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Thinking Suicide?

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JOKES from TINKLE

Teacher: Class before the Wright Brothers, there were many unsuccessful attempts to make an aeroplane. Do you know who made those attempts?

Student: IF the successful attempts were made by Wright Brothers, then the failed attempts by Wrong Brothers?

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Teacher: What do you call a person who collects stamp?

Student 1: A Philatelist Ma’am

Teacher: What do you call then a person who collects coin Raghu?

Student 2 (Raghu): A beggar Ma’aam?

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